I feel MUCH better

I am glad today...actually, i fell MUCH better yesterday..After realizing that I will always have my mum and sis to turn to when I am feeling terribily down..After the EMO thingy yesterday, I seriously feel nothing but hopeless..however, the both of you have shine a light towards me without realizing it..=D

Thanks sis! Thanks mum!

You have made my day! I neglected you both especially you, mum..I am sorry! Sorry, mum!
I know that you are left alone at home during weekdays..left alone watching TV...reading the newspaper..doing the laundry..I know how it feels like being lonely..its miserable..VERY miserable..I promise that I will spend more time with you, mum!=D

Sis, although I didnt tell you that how my day was..but your call have made me felt a whole lot better..=D I know that I could count you but then, I didnt want to disturb you..I hope you will understand..

I really LOVE the both of you! I should have realized it earlier..i wished i did..=D

Sometimes its not all about me and sometimes its not all about you

I am feeling kinda down today..dont know why..now, is my EMO season, i guess..just wana let it out by writing it here..

I know i might not be a very good friend..ditching you when you really needed me..and worst of all, i didnt realized it at all..All this while, you have been initiating the conversation in the yahoo inbox and facebook chat box..those conversation are important for you but for me, they are just another normal conversation..then, today, you really hit me in the face and tell me "Hey, I feel miserable all this while and you cant see it!"...yea, I have to admit you are right though..I am fortunate in this aspect..but then again, I was there when you needed me..I even tolerated your nonsense, frustration, and attitude..seriously, you have to be considerate if you want others to be considerate too..this is one fact that you must know..not trying to say that you are bad but you will just have to be nice if you want to be treated nice..dont think you are the only one living..wake up!

Today, I really needed to talk to someone..so, i chose you but you have given me frustration..its partly my fault too because i didnt tell anyone about how I feel at times when i really needed them to be with me..I know you dont know how miserable I felt today..so, its not your fault..i wont blame you..

I know that you will not be reading this but I hope you will one day..PS: i know you have not been following my blog..hahaha..I even know that you have deleted yourself as my follower..i am sad when i first knew it but then again i did what i always do..act blur and move on..typical me huh?

I know i have dissapointed you but you have dissapointed me too..I know I have left you and you know what, I feel sorry for you..i think that is the reason why I have been listening to you and letting you to decide..If you think that I have not been thinking about you, you are wrong..I did think of you..I did think for you..but I guess that is just not enough..

What ever is it..I know if you have seen this post of mine, you will know who i am talking about..yeah, its about you and i want you to know it without hurting you directly like how you hit me in the face..you may not like it but this is me..i want to be me.. i am normal and i have my EMO season..

What ever happens, I want you to know that i am your friend and that I never regret being your friend and I hope you wont too..cheers!

With lots of love,
little girl with big dreams...

Life is maze, love is a riddle

"..life is a maze, love is a riddle.." is a part of the song "The Show" by Lenka..it has caught my attention when I am listening to it. I think I have to agree with it.

Life is a maze...we can choose so many ways to finish this maze..there will be paths that we choose to take and not to take..but will these paths, the path that we have chose bring us out from this maze?

Love is also unpredictable..no one can define love unless he has experienced it..love is a riddle until we have found 'love'..so, should we keep on guessing the answer to this riddle? Or should we just wait and believe that we will somehow solve this riddle?

You won't know if you don't try..

Cherry just spoke to me on the phone..we speak about anything ranging from food, friends, school to guys..she told me that she had some feelings for him. I am not quite sure if the feeling she meant was 'love' or simply just a 'crush'..She kept me updated with all her stories about him and her..

From the intonations and expressions, I could tell that she really likes to talk about him..When I see those expressions of hers, I remembered the similar situations which I have gone through..I know exactly how she felt and what she meant..I wanted to tell her not to put too much hope in any 'gona-or not gona-be-relationship' but I don't have the guts to tell her because I know how it feels like when somebody disagrees with you and says all those crap that you don't wana hear at all..all you wana hear is sweet stuffs and the word 'agree', 'go ahead', 'why not?', etc. This damn feeling can't be remove and be control..because it is just unquestionable, unjustifiable,...( I could go on forever with a thesaurus)..

Today, she called me again..she told me that the guy was planning to buy a present for another friend of his(who is a girl as well) and asked her opinion about it..she responded to him but she was rather pissed as she felt that he told her on purpose...maybe just an act to make her jealous..Then, she told me that she thinks that he is not what she is looking for..she told me that she has regretted for even dipping herself deeper for him when she knows that he will most probably not be the right one for her already..but then, a question immediately popped into my mind; 'you won't know until you have tried it, right?'

I know how it feels like when you think 'this-is-gona-happen','this-is-what-I-have-been-looking-for!', etc..However, it hurts even more when you know that he is just not so into you..he only contacts you when he needs help..I may not have been one of those lucky girls who have been in a relationship or those who have found their special someone but I have indeed experienced a situation in which I thought I have fallen for him..but..I realized that I was not really into him when he expressed his feelings to me..I just don't know why..it is an instant feeling that I had..When I told him how I felt about him, he cannot accept the fact..he even sent me messages again and again asking for my explanation and expressing his dissatisfaction(maybe hatred)..Now, I find him childish though I really appreciate his courage to express his feelings..hahax..at least, he had tried to sort things out and now, he knows that nothing is gona ever work out between the both of us..

Whatever happens, we should just move on with our lives..no matter how hard it is for us to take it or simply to agree it..why don't we look at it as an experience instead of a regret? Like I have said, you won't know until you have tried it, right?