Meaningful Christmas

It's Christmas and new year again! And also Dong Zhi or what I like to call the Tong Yuen Festival. This year end is definitely different with Ah Kong/Grandpa leaving us on the 22nd after a heart attack in the middle of the night. He had been in and out of the hospital for many times recently and I guess we all sort of knew but we didn't think that it was gonna be on that day. Life's like this. And we gotta move on with it so, enough about the sad news.

Even though Christmas this year is a sad one for my family, I wish to remind myself about the good things that happen. A handmade snow globe by one of close friends or "heng dai"-s in UKM, Tan Yuet Yang. This crazy fella made 20 of these for his friends but it did made everyone's day at least. If you ever read this blog, thank you again! :)

The above picture of a scenery is from my sister who wanted to show me snow from her place. I am guessing it's the view outside her window.:P  And another gift from my close friend, Cassy but I didn't manage to take a picture of the gingerbread she made because I ate it already. Hehe.

This is also a season for all us to remember the importance of family and friends although, I am quite lousy when it comes to people. Catching up with family and friends or trying to create conversation with a long-time-no-see person is really difficult. I guess I am a really socially awkward person. :/

Nevertheless, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Maybe it's Ah Kong way of reminding us about Dong Zhi Festival and Christmas. May you rest in peace. :)

Just say and be whatever

Finally, my days in Paediatrics are over. It's not like I didn't like the posting or kids but it was quite a scary posting. Knowing that the chances of failing the short case was high, anyone in that position would have struggled to pass that exam. When I think about it, it reminded me about the irritable baby and the kid who did want to be examined. Gosh.. Of all times, it had to happen during short case. -.-!!

I guess it went okay. At least it wasn't as traumatizing as others' experiences. I am just glad that's it was over. After short case ended, that feeling of relief was the "Ahh.. finally, I want to just do nothing" one. Truth be told, I knew I had to get back to my research work which I did. I went through it on that same day till Saturday. I chose to work when my friends had already made plans to go out on Friday. Sad but in the end, I realised that I have one person who will always come for me. Mummy! The only companion who was willing to accompany me for my short breaks of lunch and dinner when I was doing my research work. She was also the one who was listening to my complaints. She had her own problems in her work place too but she tolerated my bad temper nonetheless. Sometimes, we have our small little arguments but eventually,  we are still good with each other. :)

To come to think of it, I never really had many friends or people around me whom I could just say or talk about my own stuff or just be myself especially when I'm angry or sad. It was easy for me to be happy around everyone but really talking to someone about my problems was hard. I used to have my sister to be the one whom I could just say whatever I want but I guess different time zones took that away from us. And I guess I eventually turned to mummy for all these. 

It's not that I don't have friends who are concerned about me but somehow or rather, I couldn't bring myself to do that. I did unintentionally broke down into tears or had moments where I burst into anger in front of some of them but of course,  I was quite emotionally affected at those times and I didn't like to spoil a day out with them by just talking about my problems. I didn't like to show much emotions when I'm around a lot of people nor was I a person who could express myself easily. Afterall,  I have always wanted to be that tough independent girl since secondary school. Back then, I was the naive girl who didn't know how to stand up for herself because she had a big sister who was so protective over her. Miss those days when I could count on my sister. To come to think of it, it was only since I went to KMK, I learned to be on my own. No one referred to me as the twins anymore but just my name. 

I think this is a pretty emo post and maybe the most emo I can go. Lol