Don't be scared to start all over again

Just a few days ago, I had trouble making my essay longer. In order to meet the length of a 6 page essay, I have neglected about the true essence of writing. My thoughts and ideas were not organized at all. At one point, I really thought that I have lost it all. I thought writing was not my thing after all. It is not like writing was something that I was good at but I write to encourage myself to express in another way and also, to improve my writing. Because I was so scared to start all over again, I was stuck on the same paragraph for days.

Surprisingly, when I realized something in between when I was trying to get the string back into the pants(details weren't important). I know that my mum has taught me a technique of using the hair pin before but I can't remember how she did it. The string was stuck in the middle and I was trying to get it to the other end of the opening. Being the chicken me, I have not thought of taking the whole string out and start to put the string back like a needle through one of the opening to the other. I only did that when a friend of mine told me to take the string out. See..sometimes, you just have to start all over to end it fast and not waste time by being at where you are stuck at.

Writing should be taken seriously as a form of expression of thoughts in mind. It should not be a burden but it should be done willingly. If it ever becomes a headache to write, then you have lost it all. However, don't give up! Don't be afraid to start all over again even if you have done 3 pages or so! Start from brain storming again. Just write down your ideas. They don't have to be pretty or neat. Continue with expanding your thoughts and points. Then, start to get hold of yourself and write. Trust yourself and believe that you are right. I am sure you will produce something significant.

Sometimes, it is not about what you have done or how much of time you have spent on doing something. It is not about effort all the time. When you don't feel right about doing something, then do something else. Have faith in yourself and do it! Never be scared to start from scartch. :)

If I were a boy

Harvest Moon! I used to play this playstation game when I was younger. I still remembered how Ling and I played this sharing the same account. We always wanted everything to be perfect. If it didn't turn out the way we wanted it to be, we would not save the game. Lol. My brother and my cousins weren't so fussy like us though. They just play it the way want it coz after all it was just a game. My sis and I however, played it as if it's real and guessed what we even had a book to list down what to do for that game. Crazy huh? Probably addicted! XD

We had to play the male character coz we don't have any other choices that time but now there are so many versions of Harvest Moon. I wonder if people still play this game. Sometimes I think that being a guy is so much easier than being a girl. But hey, we wouldn't know if that's true, would we?

If I were a boy, my parents need not worry about me getting home by myself especially when it's really late at night. I would have been a little taller in height. Haha.. Maybe my actions wouldn't be affected so much by emotions. I would be the good guy coz I would have kept chivalry alive. Hehe.. Probably I might be more assertive in making decisions. I would also have more courage to do something. I would be a loyal partner and a responsible man. And also, the man who places his family as his top priority. I hope to be a good dad and be close to my kids. My wife need not be the prettiest thing on Earth but someone I really love and trust. That's like the ideal guy who most likely wouldn't exist unless if I were a guy. Just kidding. LOL.

No matter what it is, I guess the most important thing is to be yourself and be on the right track. Live your life! *Similar to the last thing I said in my impromptu speech in English class.* :D

I want to fly

It's frustrating when I try to approach things in a different manner but they still ended up in the same way. All I want is more comfort, less awkwardness and more maturity in the way that I respond when challenges hit me right on my face but it turns out to be the same. Sometimes, I think that there might not be any difference in the way that I act or response because in the end, I am pretty sure that I am getting to the same old conclusion. I don't know if I am doing it right as it seems like it's going down to the same road. It is the road that I didn't want to walk on. The road that terrifies me. The road that I was not ready to take. The road that does not bring me back to home. When I took the first turn, it seemed like I was going to the "unwanted" road. So, I reversed back and tried to take another turn but I feel like I am heading towards the same direction. In the start, I thought that the there are two different turnings that lead to different roads but now, I think was wrong all these while. I feel like stopping at my current position and take a flight back home. Well, I don't really mean Malaysia if you know what I mean.

I am begging you please

I gave up in trying to find my watch. I have lost it. I am so sorry, mummy..:(
It's my fault for being clumsy to forget where have I placed it. My bad for being the stupid one. Thinking that it was safe to put it somewhere else besides my own pocket, I have regretted it ever since. I was really dumb to even think that I have a good memory.

It was so sad that everytime, I pulled up my jacket's sleeves and only got to realized that my watch was not there anymore.It was hard to not being able to know the current time. Now, I have to rely on my phone. I miss my watch so much now. It was the prettiest one that I had so far.

These were the last few pictures with you, my awesome shiny pretty little watch:





Please let me find you somewhere in my room..I am begging you please. I promise you that I will take good care of you..:(

It is right rationally and wrong emotionally

I don't think I should be posting this now being that I am supposed to be studying for my midterms on monday and tuesday but..I think I need to. As I was walking down the street..many things..believe me..a lot of things came into my mind. I was walking aimlessly..hoping that the wind will hit or smack on my face even harder everytime when it blows. I want to wake up and be real again. I just have a feeling that I am faking something. As if I was not being me..or maybe it's the other way round..I am losing myself..I don't know what to say or how to describe it but all I want to do is be alone and scream all I want. Crazy? Don't worry I am still sane. I am sure of it..hahaha! I know why I am feeling frustrated but I think it's the right thing to just let it go because in the end, there will be nothing left. That frustration came from my very own feelings and not my mind. I just felt like I needed something but I know I can't have it because it's the wisest option to not have it. I know I am crapping. Yes, I am but I really need this one. I need it. :')

Fearing for the worst

After the end module exam, I thought I wouldn't have much things to do but it didn't turn out that way. Instead everything just came to me all of a sudden and I seriously felt like screaming at one point. Some of my friends knew that I was stressed up. I was glad that they were supportive and caring. Really wanna thank them! A friend asked me what would I usually do to get away from stress? Hmm.. It really got me thinking.

I only got to found out the day after that. I have to do something really crazy! LOL. I mean something really challenging and new. It was a very sudden decision. I have actually decided to drive alone, yup me and myself, to class. FYI, I have never driven a car all by myself til then!

Honestly, I felt so relieved after that! I just don't know why. The taste of freedom! Woohoo~ Probably I just needed some time for myself and do things my way. I had the music blasting in the car and I was singing out loud. Hehe

Now, I got other stuffs to worry about. I don't know if I can overcome my fears. I don't think I'm prepared for it and people expect the best out of me. I don't know if I can meet their expectations. Hope things will work out as it should be *keeping my fingers crossed*

Being worried helps

Yes, I was worried about a lot of things recently. Most of them were academic stuffs like projects, exams and essays. In addition to that, I was also worried about the bhangra dance.

I am not a good dancer. I was told that I was stiff once. I was bad in remembering steps while dancing. I am not professionally trained. I don't go for dance classes. Choreographing a dance? I have never thought of that in my life..hahaha. I was involved because I want to try and have fun with my friends. All these while, I thought that everything that I have learnt in school about dances and performances were right and when I got to know that they weren't all that accurate, I was upset. Yes, I want to get things done quickly. Without thinking much about doing right thing, I was more focus on getting it done.

Although I have spent so much of time in trying to get steps done, they won't be worth if they are not the right steps. I don't want to be the one who spreads the wrong information about my own country to everyone else. That thought alone itself was killing me inside. I don't want to be the one to blame. I want to get it right. I am not a Malaysian if I were to insist on my own steps. Getting the steps right was hard enough for me. Thank you to Professor Anis for being there to correct the dance steps.

If you think it's easy to shop online..think again. Amazon have messed up my orders. I have ordered 4 pairs of bangles. It was 3am when I got back to get the package and opened it. I got them all but one of the pairs only had one in it instead of two. Fearing that the bangles won't reach on time, I made another order and called them in the morning. They said they will mailed it to me by priority mail and promised that it will be there before March 12th(MCN day). Let's hope so.

Because I was worried, I slept pretty late these few days and I can't sleep when the clock hits 12am or 1am. I am wide awake! Thanks to that, I was able to revise for my chemistry exam..hahaha.

I wrote this post to update my blog and nothing else. Ok, I better get my report, essay and not forgetting, revision for the next exam done. Busy busy busy..

Colors made my day

Love the bright colorful skittles! :D



I have just realized that my small coin bag was attractive.:)



Today is just another sunny day! :)