Great Serdang Debate 2011

Even during the semester break, UKM teams still participated in this tournament. GSD was held in UPM and I finally took pictures this time. Hehe. This wasn't really our tournament. We had ups and downs.

Personally, I didn't think we could bring back the trophy but it's not like I didn't have hopes for it. Just not so much, I guess. For one, we aren't experienced enough as we are all juniors except for the UKM adjudicators. Secondly, we weren't so prepared to go for this tournament. We had trainings but it is just never a statement for me that I would be much prepared for any competition. LOL. It was just to see how much I've improved if I did. I think I did learn a few things.

I am pretty sure all the UKM debaters are disappointed with our bad achievements but we'll strive better right? :) Apart from all of that, I felt we really got close and knew one another better as we could hardly meet up unless if we come for trainings. We had our very own activity to increase the bonding among ourselves. It was more about the same thing we did in Royals. Played games, went out and bought presents for ourselves.

As for now, we are all busy preparing for our very own intervarsity tournament, UKM IV. We're supposed to promote it so if you're interested, just go to ukmintervarsity.wordpress.com

That's all for now. :)

dance dance dance!

Dance dance dance! I just can't take my eyes out of them. ;)

Thinking too much?

That's me checking my phone and not realising that someone was taking this picture. Taken by my dear friend, Min Hui who is also my labmate and she can be as blur as me in the lab. LOL. I think it was during VC Cup..long time ago. Just find it interesting as I was looking through old pictures. XD

I was still with my straight hair. Haha..anyway, I remember feeling down that time because I think I wasn't not good enough. I think I'm still not good enough now. Well, it isn't about winning after all. I just don't feel that I am ready enough. I probably never feel good about myself until today. :(

I tried thinking of what I really want and yet I don't think I could tell what it is. I feel it's so aimless. Maybe I'm just thinking too much because of the holidays. But it felt good to meet my KMK sisters and my old school friends. It's not like I don't like holidays. I gotta admit I enjoy sleeping anytime I want, going out with my mum, watching all my favourite TV series and all.

Sometimes I feel like I hope for something that seem very much impossible for me to get or achieve. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to be the one..the one who gets the privilege or benefit. Sometimes I feel like it is only me who thinks that this is right. So, am I the problem? Guess it's just me thinking too much.

Well, I hope I figure this out soon. I am also hoping that this holidays will pass really slow because I'm not ready to go back to my busy life in UKM. :)

Just maybe?

I was doing my web homework earlier today. The worst was that I have ended up spending almost all day long doing it. Finally, I got done with it one and a half hours ago before I start typing this blog post. I know this is redundant but anyway, I have no idea on how to start off this post. There is so much of things in mind that I want to say but I know not all of them are necessary or that important. Most of them are crappy and not worth it to be heard.

I was wondering what might have been different if somethings were not here for me and what would have been today without those things around me. Maybe there is a lot more to it than I have imagined, thought and had today..but but..just maybe..just maybe...things might have been worse as compared to now. So, I guess.. there is some truth behind living in the present.

Not that I hope things to change now but I am accepting the way things that are working around me. It is not all about me all the time..There are many others facing a harder time. Unfortunately, most of us only think about ourselves and only want to be heard and not the other way around. Guess it is just human nature? Well..humans will be humans. Ok, I will get back to my studies.

Never Gonna Leave This Bed

Maroon 5! Despite the fact that the music video for this song is a little not suitable for those who are under 18, I think it is a really nice song. Honestly, I don't think this mv is disgusting, it is kinda sweet actually. At least the girl in the video with Adam Levine is not just any random girl. Just him and his girlfriend. Aww.. I think that's cute enough. Okay, even the title might get people thinking dirty. Lol. Enjoy! :)

Life as it is?

I have never thought that I would get some of the things in my life that soon. A few of them still seem a little unreal to me. When I have chose to just keep myself quiet and not do anything extraordinary, life just keep giving me something to think of, something to hold on to, something to cherish and unfortunately, life also took away so many things that I have once liked so much that I have never thought that being away from them would make my life better. Life is just so interesting that it has given me the chance to meet many people as I go. Different people believe in different things. I think that this might have explained the different types of religion, principles in one-self and purposes in life. Am I someone who is religious? I am not ashamed to admit that I am not. I do not know a lot about Buddhism nor Taoism, that I will agree. I was not told, taught and never did I ever try to find out out about them. Maybe for me, living up to principles that I have in life is just enough to make me human. So, do I believe in God? Yes, I do. I pray every night before I sleep but I did not pray in any other ways that I think I was suppose to pray in. I do not read mantras or any form of prayer. All I do is just talk to Him in English. Yes, I do not speak in Hokkien or Cantonese when I pray. Maybe I did use a little mixture of Chinese and Malay for some words that I find more comfortable to use. Am I bad for not practicing my own religion or at least try to learn about it? What if I feel that I have the right to choose on what I should believe in? Or is life just like that for me? I just don't know the answer. As long as I feel good about my actions, I think I am good. Don't get me wrong. I still believe in God and I do not plan to change my religion. I have never thought of changing it, really. Just that I have some thoughts in mind that I felt like sharing them. :)

Friday

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Today is Friday! No, it's not about Rebecca Black or the date 13th Friday. Today, I am happy. It feels so nice after telling the truth and expressing my inner self. The fear that I had in me was almost completely gone. Thanks to raisins! :D
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stupid but worth

I am about to do something that is so stupid for something that I think its worth taking the risk. I kept on thinking about it but it's not going to work if I don't take any move. I have to do this..one day..no matter how many critics or comments I might get from people. I don't see the point hiding from something that should be happy for me. I don't get why should I feel so guilty for something that I can't control. I don't see the point of hiding anymore. Hiding keeps me thinking about the consequences. It will kill me if this continues. I am just going to do it and see what happens. Even if the whole world might hate me for it or if some people might get hurt from it, I still think that to know sooner is better than later. I am not going to be afraid to take this stupid wise move of mine. I don't see the point of it anymore, really. I am not wrong..this is just life. It is so dramatic and ironic that this had happened to me. It is a risk that I will take and I hope everything will be fine. I really do. Don't hate me, please..

Whatever happens, happens

I have weird moments where my tears will just flow down my cheeks without any good reason. When my mind just starts to think, it goes so deep and wanders so much that I guess I can't control it. Not all that I think of are good stuffs, there are more bad thoughts that come to my mind. Thinking on whether I have made the right decision in some of the things that I have done, I was just too scared to answer them. I have chose to turn to face fear instead of reality. Facing something that I was thinking of and not something that I am going through, I felt a little dumb. I don't know what else to think of. My mind would just tend to think of the possibilities that I didn't want, the chances of being a failure, and the thoughts that might have changed me for who I am today. I don't know if it's for the better or worse. For now, I will just do what I want and think is not bad for myself. Let whatever that happens, happens even if I was in uncertainty.

Peace of mind

Traveling alone and leaving all by myself for a few days? Nah..I would never do that but I did. Just because my mum had the opportunity to go to the states, Las Vegas, I thought that it would be nice to meet her there. It is not easy to get someone like my mum to get here. I would really want to spend time with her when she gets here. That's all I had in mind - to be with her. I don't plan to go to Vegas if it was not for her. Although I would be alone for a few days, I think I should make it as a once in a life time thing to travel all by myself. Of course, I do hope that I can go with some friends of mine but things don't go as plan or not everything has to go as I want them to be as always. Guess it is time to be independent and have some peace of mind alone? I am not going to say that it's awesome being alone but the satisfaction is truly there. I don't feel pressured. There is no drama going on. I laugh at myself for my own stupidity for getting lost. LOL! So many things came to my mind. I have thought of my life like what has been interesting and what not. The time spent alone was not too bad. I got myself some answers. Answers that I could not get if I didn't have much time for my own mind to wander around. Answers that speak for themselves and that I have to agree even if I don't want to. Not to mention that being a female traveling is not a good or wise choice, I would never agree on anyone of my girl friends to travel alone..That's for sure!

That is all from me in Las Vegas! :)