Crappy?

I don't know why I am feeling a little down and moody..Seriously, I want to know the reason for being so myself..I know its funny and weird and perhaps, one day, I will be reading this and laugh realizing how stupid am I to write this post..Whatever reason it may be, even if I know the reason but dare not say it..I just feel like writing a post today..

I am been having mixed feelings about everything..I do not dare to hope for something too much and trust those around me too much..I feel like I was not part of it at times and that I could not change the situation because I know I am not the influential or the dominant one..I thought that I was good but then again, I realized I am not..Just as others who are self-minded, so too am I..but then again, I just can't help it because at times, I felt like I was being played or used instead..I guess I think for others to much- that is what my parents said..Do I think about others too much? I don't know..at times, I guess..

Avoiding the truth is what I always opt for..especially the truth about my feelings and thoughts..I will never admit or do anything that I think that I am supposed to be the one waiting and not the one taking the action..even if this will last forever..I don't care eventhough I really want it and need it..I am not going to change my stand..

Whatever happens now and then, I will be strong! I won't give up! I will try my best!