Perhaps it is best that I don't know

Ever felt like its better if you have not known something? Be it indirectly, directly, straight at your face or whatever. I am sure we must have felt it for at least once in our lives and yes, that includes me as well. Its not that I want to know but I can't help it because I get it. So, what can I do? Just pretend like nothing has ever happened or just simply react to it? I will choose to react then. I hate to wait and watch. I am more of a doer but I have some principles that I have to follow as well. Sometimes, rules come first(my rules at least). Maybe being a doer isn't that good after all. I don't know, really. Its hard when there are many things going around at once. I have all sorts of things to think of and all I want is somewhere in which I hope I can release all of them out but I just realized that I can't simply choose a place. Although that place might be comfy and nice, I must always be prepared for the worst. I should have known it better or at least, try to control my wants but I guess, I am human too. So, I slipped as well. Being afraid that I might starve or not find a shelter in that place that I want to be, I choose to move out from that place. I have always been like that - moving around from one place to another and not even having a sense of where I am heading to. Just because every place seems to be unique and special in its own way, I tend to stop in every place that I found and now, I regret for not being able to have a sense of direction and knowing where I really want to go. After all, how would I know if that place suits me if I did not try to stay in it for a while?