Thursday, June 24, 2010

This is My Situation

Am I emo-ing right now? Yea, I am now because I failed to let it go just like that. What does it feel like being in my shoes? I really dunno how to explain it but I think there's only one person who knows how to explain it in a better way. I felt like I have grown up too fast, maybe faster than any other person who is as old as I am. I know too many things when I was young. I know what complicated means in the real world. That's why I have always like things to be simple.

When the one person whom I thought was supposed to be the person holding this burden all a along wasn't doing his job well and the worst part is that he asked another party to do it for him, what the... Hasn't he prepared anything? Maybe he doesn't wanna be apart of all this actually, then why does he wanna tell that it's ok but in the actual fact, it is so not ok. I would prefer not to know this but since I have known this already, why doesn't he just be totally honest with me?

Sometimes I feel like I am depending on others. Honestly, I don't like it but can I choose? No.. When something feels so wrong is right in the other person's eyes, I don't know what to say anymore. I really hate to be stucked in between but I know I have to be involved. It's just because everything that happens now is due to my existence. Nothing feels right at the moment. There is no solution.

So, this is my situation.. What role am I actually playing?? I don't know because I am torn in between. It is like when I thought I have reached the top of the hill, I saw another hill in front of me. And then I realized that in every end is a beginning. But this time, a beginning of a misery.

2 comments:

Iswari said...

hey, i don't know what this is about, but i just wanna say this...

sometimes we do find ourselves depending on others, no matter how much we hate that...coz there are things that we just can't do on our own...that's why we have friends and family with us...even when everyone and everything seem to be against you, don't lose your stand...

and no matter how bad the situation seems, don't give up...fight for your dreams or whatever it is you are fighting for...

hope things get better for you, girl :)

Patricia said...

thanks iswari! it's just a problem that i have to solve but i'm out of ideas. lol.. i appreciate your concern and encouragement! :D